I sit belonely

well I don't know what happened to the header here but it's gone...went out to the cranberry farm yesterday...came home made banana bread and that turned out pretty good..  sad to find Onyx had been hit by a car and howling in the berry vines across the street, he's in a box by the fire and doesn't look good at all...then I got a text from the S10 guy who sold the truck to someone else yesterday..  I was kind of sad to know that what he had told me on Thursday wasn't going to happen after all..actually that was Wednesday we agreed I would buy the truck and shook hands on it.  He said he wouldn't sell it to anyone else at that time.  But he did, so now I have to put the money in the bank and keep looking.  I hope it was all for the best, that the truck wasn't going to run well anyway and I would be up to my ears in repairs.  MEanwhile the Civc overheated on the way back from the bank Friday and we had to sit at the side of the road until it cooled down.  I added a little antifreeze but am worried that I need to get a new oil filter in 'er or I'll mess up the parts in the engine, duh...one thing and another...civic is running pretty good and I can go on as I am doing for now but as far as driving down to Mesa or something like a big road trip to DC is absolutely out of the question at this point...Have close to two thousand saved for a better car but of course now Onyx looks like he needs surgery and it's time to get ready for church so enough speculating...Not the spectacular Christmas I envisioned when I made the truck deal but probably was out of my league repair wise so why not get on with it and see what else comes up...that's the way to take a set back..meanwhile pray for kitty to recover.

climbing into the blankets with a good book

there should be cookies but I deliberately put them elsewhere
although there's a bunch in the visitors' center
just waiting to add flesh to my poundage..
and salad greens going wilted in the fridge
a long cord dangling on the floor reminding me that all is not well in the

I should not think of penuche
or the shores of lake erie
back in the day when that slogan keep the earth green
was handpainted and worn as body art

the wind churns up...I'm obliged to be nestatory
without a snack save for popcorn...
freeze to death?

not likely although definitely a dreary proposition..

more observations of the Hoarders' ethic

it was brought to my attention that an actual hoarder combines trash with his treasurers...that there's a lot of tinsel in with the googaw/actual collections so that it overcomfits the springboard of the bipolar manic depressive quality of the reasoning...he's not obsessively compulsive so much as he is inundated by possessions...he gets a headache upon trying to organize them in a rational fashion..he goes for the toss into the pile, along with the balled up trash that should have gone out but he's not going to go out...because he's agorphobic at that point and is as content to stay at home in the deluge of things rather than to approach the outdoor atmosphere with the cleansing sense of fresh air that meets him in any case...possessions take the place of people in his life..he layer states all of what he brings into the domicile, he knows where things are but they have no actual position in his environment because he dedicates nothing to anything other than to the actual point of its being in his sphere of origin/with him at that moment these things are like so many snowflakes he has captured and held silent in time, not melting, collecting dust, buried in the treasure of his private world...it becomes a part of him he can shed when he actually does walk out the door but let no man tread where he does, this is his space...he alone can define and inhabit  it...it is far beyond clutter what he has..but he has so much...he is the true element of wealth because he is becoming buried in his possessions, as much as he would like to say otherwise...there it is...he has captured his universe and is holding it hostage no doubt because of a singular experience in which he was called out for his covetousness...
there's a fragility to the hoarder in which he continues to live his own nightmare...and how to wake him up?  stay tuned...