Friday, September 12, 2014

what's going on in this world of mine??duh..

it's pretty nice again...got to leave a message with hoohoo but I doubt he gets it...lost his cp(cellphone) and so that may be why he hasn't called at all but then, who knows..might be tired of me, that could happen easy enough..other than that...had a burpday and it went with the announcement from Mom that there will be no more presents from her...kind of a letdown to say the least but eh...we know how it goes...she barely knows her own name anymore so who would be doing the talking there?  she wants me to wait on her when we are at friday lunch, I don't mind this but yet the no more birthday presence kind of throws me into a dark corner that I don't know where to find the overhead light...and I wonder what will become of my hopes and dreams now I don't have my little job with JW anymore...she just kind of cut me loose after she got that indictment from her cardiac physician, like I had something to do with her health, I was trying my best always to keep her in the light but now I'm told that I wasn't thorough or efficient enough and so someone else has taken my place, someone JW loaned money to and is being paid back by cleaning for her, which I had done for the last four years...like a chapter in my life suddenly ending and I am sad about it...but, that's the way it goes...I feel heavy hearted about that but it's better because JW never had kind things to say about DL...'watch out for HIM' and so on, and he's after JS and so on...I doubt it...meanwhile, I was wanting to post this last tuesday and there was no internet here but now there is (VC) so I can say what's on my mind and let it flow...my garden at JW's is looking like 'where's Momma??' but I can't go there even though I am very curious how the zucchini did and if the pumpkin survived...the two kittens of Rocky are Balboa and Sylvester, Sylvester has the markings of an orca and should go to DL but I have to wait for DL to get in touch and I don't see that happening and I am sad about it but Thu's father and mother are going back to NV and that has something to do with the bigger picture but I don't know what, and then there is Tim who is my little brother John's holocaust mainframe/music and rhetoric apparently were his main attributes...Tim accompanied me on my birthday to the Beaver Chili Cookoff and we danced but I was adamant that he not touch me in any way...isn't that so strange?  but that's how it was...there is nothing intimate in my relationship with Tim and he's around occasionally, in fact, if DL has let me go and I don't know that but he left a facebook post that he'd lost his cellphone and all his numbers and to call him so could I do that?  that I can't decide I feel as though he's said bye bye indirectly but he wasn't that kind of social anyway...brusque is the best word for what he was...oh yes and the co op...now...we work there for nothing and expect great returns from who?  Langley?  that's long in coming if so...we've got DOS on M and A and yet we get the feedback in buckets of poop mostly...it's a good process if you're the family dog and I'm not that so I wonder...oh yeah and since the demise of JW..there is now Miss Dana which would be the bauding up of Edna...or Alice whathave you...and Dana has a harley she's selling for 12g pretty blue my birthstone color Sapphire...which you know that'd be fun but well...again...was promised a little gig there helping get the place she got cleaned up and here comes Rachel to to do the honors...Lisa walks to the mailbox here from accross the street...we're wondering why the mailbox out front has to go..couldn't be JF and co making it home away from home? trailer and so on...so Wolfe L and V still riding the herd at SW but it's obvious the last leg M has to stand on and fallout is very costly DL??ok enough...said it all...going home to tar in a bit..

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

ok a general overview in terms of 'hmm'...my thoughts take flight and my mind has wings...or something..oh yeah, since we're doing 'old commercials' today and referring to them..."Wears the BEEF!!!" or what bugs me

so,,la di and dah hasn't had time for me much and when he does he's CURT and 'don't touch that' and here I am baby..(oh no baby in there either) but I accept this because I understand how it goes he's 'fission' a lot of the time and we DO know what that means so he'll hear that and know I wear a wedding ring now and have since June...so anyway why complain (a post from my mom about that as well...clears throat and thinks about what I use tobacco for...just a list of litanies about how life could be better, but it's great anyway because you can always NOT be there when someone isn't your big friend and associate, or lover)
that's the great part of my life, that I always am safe in any situation because I talk straight from my soul and don't try to cope with what I cannot change about anyone else..
so there was this guy in high school...his name was Mike Blazer and boy was he HOT..you talk about your male god..this was him...but then, as far as I could see, good 'ol Mike Blazer was a looker and all that
but what he wasn't was much of a brain...he might even have been conceited as far as that goes, what I saw in him was kind of like - probably - a sex object, a person that we gals could wet our pants over..wish fervently that he'd dig on me, but yeah, why would he, dorky little freak that I was then ( and now, no doubt, becauseI'm worse than Stevie Wonder blind when it comes to my own attractiveness) and other than personal hygiene which is for me pluck the eyebrows shave the pits douche the pussy shave the legs...eat salal berries, kegel.. run, walk swim eat healthy and above all don't get STRESSED..and by the way, I hate the word Pussy...it just kind of feels like it means run out and kick any available cat hard...why? because it refers to female genitalia and for some of us, we've been like cauterized in our cervix so the vagina doesn't know it's connected to the big world outside the internal function of that muscle...and as far as clitoris, hmmm, that hangs out like the dog's weinie and never gets any play at least in this round..so it's all good because his seems to get smaller and less important as time goes by, I mean, really? that song
is that all there is?  well, IS that all there is?  used to be even though it was like an 'ironed' clit...it would bloom inside like so many dozens of roses..really great you gotta wonder who's stealing that now?
meanwhile, I'm going with COACH..as far as how I play it which is be true to self, enjoy time allowed/allotted, forget hearing about that I'm indian crap because we are too..maybe mine's more noble?  dunno...maybe artificial environment of buildings/cars really really bugs us? maybe it's my work which is WHAT??had my sign out front of the house when I first got back to town and one caller asked if I were legit and I said 'is our society?'  hehe..and I had to thank Sig for that, his little cedar continues to thrive on the front drive..that's an issue too like Sig gets in there with each encounter with the big ol bad stuff..oh god you should a seen Mike Blazer in high school when I was in 8th grade yowie..like touch the iron with a wet finger to see if it's hot enough to iron with...sizzly..and MB went with Darla Doran who was a cute as a cutton back then blonde hair black eyebrows blue eyes/little Sis had red curly hair and pippi longstocking freckles, nice people each girl in that family prettier than the next and they all married up with the men I lusted after.. so I don't suppose Darla married Mike Blazer but he was sure cute and so was she...dream couples...people you think will surely get it right but they probably don't, like I am now visiting with a local native who has the absolutely trashed up es house you ever saw and is typical of his village how it's kept like most of the time the wooks have it because LB (loverboy) is fission...make sense?  does to me and so is this open ended tell all thing I got going on here this afternoon like you don't come and bother me about what I say here I just kind of call it like it is which is well...still a foldup hospital bed in the living room no tv but he said that was coming in today and he'll be back to watching bear programs again and DON"T TOUCH THAT DIAl...like he runs the sawmill in Amanda Park and his name is Pancho Leiza...well, Picasso ain't even going to touch that one is he?  meanwhile have to watch transvestite child molester brutal animated corpse bitch whom I have nightmares about throw wait around in my face like you know this ain't never gonna work with this guy because he's riddled with our fares...so I have nightmares about that and confront her and say CT get the f out of my face and she don't does she...nah...and it's me doing the driving to the res not his coming to my place nor is there any intimate time at all it's just like he's dreaming and I'm providing a pillow which gives me a headache to contemplate but finally I got the cute guy I lusted after to pull my pants down and that's what he's doing, and not much more..kinda sucks but there it is and I'm a big girl...I been psychoanalyzing this up one side and down the other and well..am not falling for that if you let him screw you he'll let you hang around nonsense because it's gotta be more than that and we're working towards what it will become in a great quantuum leap that doesn't let me see him posting pictures of himself with other women on facebook...ok? I'm ok...takes a deep breath watches the mail delivery guy empty the box out front of the office...through the window...still learning the writing craft apparently but wanting to say what's in my head in a way that doesn't make me sound self patronizing and I hope this is at least accurate in that regard so big love in the indian world takes on two and respects the burpenfarter part of it with a little help from r2Dtu..who does annihilate the tobacco element whenever it raises its ugly head...his isn't..does he know that?  I think he's expecting that I should know my own appearance by now but I do not...so..that's something to work on and my daughter says he has a 'mullet' haircut but it's just long really long...like mine, like anybody not in their body but aware of their genetic identity, one of the great tribe of man...from whatever tree world that we sprung, sprang..probably should write a story about it and not joke that she was walking down the beach and he was out on the water catching fish and she texted him did he want some cookies for dessert tonight because she was thinking of peanut butter...
and he said in reply that sounds yummmy, like you..
that sort of thing so I should go home and not worry I sprang the last leak in the boat, hehe
love you world/jung freud

Friday, July 25, 2014

whewww...

went to the clinic at Neah Bay with 'barb...who shuffles and gets there eventually but has a hard time of it because she's elderly, aarthritic and has just gotten over a huge attack of gout..  on our way through the village I saw D's little red scooter at the SC up there...felt a bit wistful but there it is...can't have everything, especially things that might not in the end be good for you...he's awfully brusque, sort of pushed me out of the way looking for a movie he did...said the dogs couldn't be in the house, that sort of thing..also what other people know about him, that it might be an iffy proposition; however, I thought it was a learning experience till now but I still owe him a house cleaning for the $40 he gave me the first time I was there and said that's what he needed...
I dunno, looks like rain today..still haven't painted my canvasesses and here I sit at the VC writing on the blogs, watching the dogs sleep on the sidewalk out front./..the light isn't purrr fact for painting but it isn't bad...there's a matinee at the library tomorrow at 1 pm 'Murder She Wrote' apparently a black and white Agatha Christie...I might go see it...what else?  read Intelligence Report which is all about hate groups in this edition, not about the East West issues whatsoever makes you wonder who's keeping the big secrets, like who's using my sweetie's bod for their pleasure, kind of think it must be my brother and my mom because they've been like two cats in a bag lately...snarly, mean and so forth...doesn't feel like family at all...although maureen at the post office did feel a lot like dad with her braid to her waist, I can see him being the big chief with that hair, who he is...not getting a good picture of my mother though...just the hater version which is all about Aryan Christian horse pucky and so forth...she was telling how the Hindu faith is devil worship and I thought, and your gay daughter is not gay?  well, they learn to figure it o ut and make it look good, very transcendental that older son being the monkie moron that he is...meth'd out and so forth...they'll figure it out, kind of a leadership thing since they got the Nelson caddie I guess...we'll figure it out...closer we get to who we are, the more the commie bugs come out of the woodwork and we have to admit yes, we are racist about skinwalking user states of those who would clone us..
in the meantime, miss the sweetie but am better off with no black eyes...guess broPat is pretty smug about that one since he said 'he'll clean his own house'..and so on...what a Pro fume...haven't been back to see Cher since...although at this point I prolly should though I feel more like the quicksilver messenger service typing away

Friday, June 27, 2014

summer yuggs

it's raining today and last Wednesday was the last time I heard from great clam in the sand trail...interesting that I feel so detached about that since as it is, it's a very abrupt situation, won't be sleeping in the same bed because I hog all the covers and don't share...my dogs peed the floor so they can't come in...I took forty dollars for work I didn't do so the work I did do is classified 'by him' as 'for services rendered' which I guess if you count the wreck of the house, the truck that doesn't run and so forth,it's all a moot point and one which maybe we shouldn't think about too much because it is rather irrelevant and not worth considering since it's over a week ago that I was there and now I'm not...and I wonder what it is about, what did I do? or not do...I was getting rather ambitious about what I might do...this that and the other, but then it turns out that no it doesn't mean anything other than there was a spark in my eye that ignited some ideas in his and those turned out to be explored and now he's apparently done with that and moved on to whatever comes along...which as it happens isn't much in this part of the world...it's raining and where there might be tears on my part the give and take of this particular episode was so perfunctory other than his making the coffee in the morning and watching the critters out the window with his binoculars..yeah...I'll miss it I guess I guess I thought I was something special and I wasn't...I never did get that thing about somebody using you for your physical being, it never entered my head ever and still doesn't that this is what some of us do..like we're the pavement on which they walk...granted I don't give everyone the same consideration, take the couple that just bought the house that was foreclosed that I owned and paid into for twenty years/about what 500x20x12= ($120,000 paid in over time) something like that, rubin and courtney and their two children...she had the second child in the car on the way to the hospital that's what I know about them and that's about all I know other than the house got foreclosed because those who said they were buying it never paid in a dime...funny how that happens, like this relationship, such as it was, which it apparently isn't because I say so after a week...strange that I can't look at him padding around his place in the ...can't even say that...but I'll look forward to my bigscreen tv tonight and hope I know how to operate it...and I'll be glad I don't have to water...and I'll kind of hold my breath and wait and see if what I feel in terms of being disappointed is just the anxieties of going through this 'relationship' thing yet again and finding that it won't pan out because a) person isn't in the same ballpark at all with goals and obligations and ambitions b)just doesn't love you c)really only needed the stimulation of the encounter...somewhere in there is the truth and there maybe also the thing about culture clash which I doubt is there because I'm not who I think I am either but I know that now and why that was under wraps I do not know but I'm good with that too...never have changed much about myself in that regard...and..finger middle right hand is wrapped in a bandage still great big cut there getting better on that but still tender and messes with the typing somewhat...
so, big sigh...glum face/attitude, goes with the rain...have to get back in the paint the house and tar the roof process weather will dry up by Sunday there's a big dance party at the Sekiu Center for Linda D's retirement and SolDucks will play so that will be fun..as far as the other goes...Cindy was out and about big time Wednesday getting the groceries for her crew of needy people while I was behind the eight ball running for the gauntlet with two elderly woman I was helping, one with her groceries and one with stuff that big C didn't do, once in a while she does but not often enough for the lack of ability of the woman in question...even the dog is looking crusty and she's supposed to be grooming that critter (there are 3)...
so...I guess I know that clam sand trail is masquerading ala Picasso and that's the Ganoa park memorial. where they landed and you could have it both ways and be happy but it isn't in the cards and that's the way it is...we've tiptoed long enough around the topic of our age difference, I can't help that I'm coming off at 17 that's 3 mile island effect...that's the way it is...but there it is too one side of my bed heaped in pillows and blankets for he who is not there and the other barely slept in because I don't turn in until I'm too tired to do anything else but
so I let this go because it seems the right thing to do...and then if he calls?  well, if it's anything like the last incarnation of this kind of thing..it'll be further on down the road and then some...reading Sara's Key as a postnote to what ought not to happen...you get like this, like how I feel about checking and checking my cellphone for messages that are not there...and you could stand in that big auditorium in Paris and they could be as wicked and cruel to you as they liked but you wouldn't really be affected by it because you'd already know what they HAd done and that was enough right there to make it all be a simplistic brutal exercise in drumming the situation into your head that you are not in charge of all of this...you have to allow for the tides and the elements and the eagles and the salmon and whatever else is out there that demands its own piece of the action...the GROUSE??

Friday, May 9, 2014

okidokey skinnimaroke...it's raining..it is now summer, nearly a year since I posted here and guess what? I found Bob Meints...good 'ol Bob Meints down the poopshoot on the tail end of wherever and whenever from however..still gotta ballhead and looking like a pingpongdriver at the pc...whipping it out..we had a very  nice time together, once upon a time when he was still a 'male man', hehe...I guess thanks to the likes of the 'extraterrestrial interloper' that no doubt did in quite a few of us to make 'bots for little 'amalia'...ahemmm.. I clear my throat and don't try to comprehend because if you get to this blog..well, it's a moot point what in many toothpicks I am talking about..right? so...I use the blog today to clear the air and generate the referendum on the latest of many personal endeavors to which I account myself..the little town of Clallam Bay being what it is..not much and me living practically on top of the cog that won't compute in terms of good ol 'ami'..zeee offworlder with the children of the corn eyes..good thing I had the toots putt in when I did..shatshop...tankuberrymudge..popped up almost instantaneously after a week nadda when Dylan's dotter dincumbag..ah ha..DOS on the muscle there and there it is and I don't trust ADA anymore than I trust the housekeeper...well, computer speaking terms and all..that isn't what I wanted to say anyway, it being a relator code at best..to what has happened in real time in the last few days
item 1: good ol adobe workshop has a house like a trainwreck and an attitude like I gibb you forty dollah you ...well, you... ah..you did
item 2: workshop is going away to fine fish for five day be bag saturday mmhmmm..with turdytowsandollah for new truckiwucks he got order..an den..he call us tursday in morning..
item 3: he say da bow don't got no resin he never leb de harber..and de fish, well 'YamesYoyce' got no issue with the relator code (only guy who doesn't) hehe
so der goes turdytowsandollah to hymn and neveafew...and who ever else he say der a gooz on the docks does I wand it? huh?  I say gib to Joe he say he will I hear joe today fall off the porch at wheel roe break his nose and herd his mowfff big time (he be 90 or more) and this workshop dude
gotta a stiff bag..don't like no BAGRUBS..no time
he BILL d fire
he gimme money to k.lien/40..so I owe him dat..I guez..was a rugged interview worthy of KimDune Sang or at least half of North Korea at least...sheesh..we watched some bares killing and scruggling one another for a bit las night and I use up my gasoline dribeing out der an bag..I tell ya..well...had had this thing about that person for a while and if I sound like he knocked a few of my marbles out of the bag it's because he was pretty abrupt in ways that were not understandable to me as I don't get to know him any better because right off the bat the bode has no bat tree..I got a bat under the shingles on the garage dude...you wann'em?? he's a cutte little bugger that bat...all stripey round the head like some kind of marvelous cheetah but only maybe a square inch of that sort of furr...anyway...kind of a disappointing second date with first date pimplette (gotta get on gotta get on...off to mag thirty tow san...an b.eye nutruc..oh that'd be Kim...I guess) so..what you here from the actress in challah.wd is a buncha hasbeenteenkits laying low in challah sticking toes in cold watter while General Grow commits the obviation factor in the trial runoffs courtesy of the aborted snafu which level sorted the brain mutancy of Richard Adms' book 'The Plague Dogs'...now that'll get you tarnished and burned with smears on your clothes yu just put onn...(now did dat get there that hype of shocklott frau.sting??))...goobers
so I wanners...I got this one quick look at the monkey tail..it was a plug that became a tobacco chewing receptacle about a day later or so...quickly worn and wandered..wow..how we is..what we is...and don't ask the undertaker he's busily reversing the tally scores on 'I lye'g''s my Martin Luthers...' or something...we don't know what yet but wheel fine out..we ill... I gotta think on it...how did I do watching little betty and her cubs take the hit from the big pythons in the stream?  horrible...reminded me of Kayla and Joey and Lilly and even to know them as relatively close by being a thing that isn't...thanks to proximity of the Omars and such...wants to scratch their names off the blog but I don't.. there's something relatively human in all of this but probably it ain't me,  I got the werking stobe, the Polish connection...the adams residence...the Michelina Haus..commandeered by swaziland to mitigate what the consequences of a bean casserole will acquaint the nostrils to, on a sunny day...yeah
it was Lennon John that came up with this goofy kidlike conversation and it just lilts along and says 'he strung my guitar but then he reasoned he should pluck it'...
so then he was through doing that and went back for another haircut and got acquainted with a big Billy in a small suit that toled him he should guaranty annesty to anyone prescribing the forfeiture of that giant spaceship my brother told me about that covered the metropolitan area of San Francisco as reported by Art Bell at 3 in the morning when day when Robert was listening closely
oh yeah I says...I can do 'er...so he builds this lovely warm fire but the bearskin has disappeared and instead we're watching it on the telly and they're eating mothers but he's too sore and old to think about what that might mean...(you lesbo you)
indeed 'she' shows up to even the score and had it run through a mocha cycle with a rip to columbine and fortesque and all the little dremlings in the dremmel patch as if it were a tool
not sure what that one meant but I hope you do...I canna resume watching and building the giant toadstool that succumbs to debenture in what was definitely an even score according to little koolaidie...
olmo..
so, I could go on but it makes me feel better already that I hadn't..I wondered and I watched for a  while, kind of hcilly under the cubbers and then I says I ain't standing for that mudder getting her socks watched you hear me?? and I left
it at that
and he got himself a little scribbleI done 'I moose you'...a drawing because I thought he was at sea till saturday and he is back and making excuses for his sorry self as if there were a real person in there and it appears that their ain't (or those eagles flying around...did you ever see the one nest that there is?  in front of the fine arts grounds in PA?  quite a big too doo that thing,,so I brought home all the nesting materials since they like to flock here in big muttering droves..the bunch of 'em...they huge..well on the Hoh they huge)...so they gotta nest wherever they wann it...and the old punk band can drive in the shimlock and take a rest in the porterhouse whenever 'e wants...it'll still be splat...ahhhh
so no...we got introduced we got columbined..we didn't schleep or schleep togetters because he hadda get out of town and off to sea...but he dinnt cause the bat in the tree flew and he was bag  and that's it..end of story disapppointed but I wrote a nice write here about shakey fingers that did finalize the cue score ahh..at a time when bots were answering funny comments about slaying grizzlies in alaska...I thought...I did get up close and yeah he bit me but he was kind of aenethstized somehow every wild animal in the forest was told to be haib up due to daddy wikeing dis gurl..(think so maybe)...can't align to my native resources...they not there in this wurl..I think that's the sadness part...ain't happening...never did (admit that)...well, you make it up...you makeup...was he ever going to suggest the casino and a weekend away...I dowd it..and I got brown frosting on my yakit...which is a white fleece..and I woulda never worn it today had I known...well now I know a lot more than I did when it was time to mow...and that being the case that was lovely and so was the carpenter element with the palestinian delay module acerbating every schphlunk there was (my stamp card for subway is no longer valid, duh...)
ok, so...as it stands he'll never be there again as far as I can tell because he came back from the beach and he was there and the sea harvest was a bust because he never got out of the port (and I haven't been for a ride on his boat)...so then I went into satsop mode and twigged up some of one of the trings...as I would cause I could because I did dat a while ago and I don't care how yellow is the whiteman (the yellow hairs) they still yellow through and through busting up what mighta been a good roman sssssss
as it were he canna talk more than a sentence about this that without it being a spittoon you can see the kind of evil dribble came out of the ancestors' mouths to talk about how they got gone...makes you want to rescind dannyt glubbers contrackt to be the bomb O...sometimes
get that perlized newt back in the jar...dig it
and that's hollywood as I know it today...
rain and laundry on the line two trucks pulling in and they can't use the can..well
lesseee it's b.ray(b) nuwerl..w/Pitt.Ashton/am.burr(whiled rose and so on Iconic and verbal and time to go homies
almost
I recken that's the way it is
although I was counting on cedar beams and I get this devastation
I was listening to casino tunes and dancing
and I was making my own pancakes (not raw but alone)
and he was talking about all the scene yore meals sevin daze a wig
and udderdendat the parking lot is still full of tourists and they gotta videocam of the sky staying gray and full of spring rain (it's may)
have to write...a burden, a grimace a shoehorn wistful and doubting it'll ever be real for me
just like that bumper "I found it and now my finger stinks) my mother thought it was awful
I said frainkly, remember when we were kids an one of us was always in puttee pants...and
that's how we'd twig to the process?
that's where I related to it
but then...I can't see him sitting on the one functional toilet, I can see him coming out of the shower
I can't see him talking other than to lecture me about the importance of being Ernest (grimes)
there is such a guy out there - idi's double..hehe..hope idi gets a load of this...he often wonders if emom can get it right enough to keep the hare from the hounds
sigh...a falulty grimace...the devil's daughter spies a pond below...
arnie busts through a shirtsleeve trying to tone it down
we welcome the event
kari.org
haha..such is it...I was so happy that it had happened and he had it...
he said..
so now I'm thinking he has had it because he's played every card except the keeler.profumo schnipe
and I had the grillin' beans for supper and walk around in the vague fumes of dispatch
later I rub my eyes against the harsh reality of the quantum
it belorgs me to be uppity on the marrow...I wander here lost without the solstance of my weekly sojourn in these parts as if for never I could equate to being justice and light with the bandana of the morbid as the defeater of my cause...he'd be pardoned sure enough if he were only to wonder what it was that made him do that in the first place
'we got to set this up right' I never said because I always it just to happen
and so it did
he's going to level his lot and grabble it up and there's going to be no trees anywhere but in the picture books and the ones I draw..why do you want to mow?
get it grabbled
and be sure you don't inference how you feel about anyting because the hammer coming down isn't the one Picasso uses..no way Jose
nope...it's not about that...it's about my werd is yer were and Blue Duck(goose) is my name
I guess you were married to the bastard and he finally shit you out....hmmm

so that's that
in a nutshell you're running around with the lame one's blood in your veins for the moment..having vouchsafed the blind scar for a routine made in Bimini...
ah to where I was..
and I walked toute suite to the exit sign with the comment you gotta mobious yer t.rug