the office

it's been an uphill struggle..getting a futon into the office and putting things where they go...so many things are in a jumble..need to go through my desk(s)..sort out what's in those and get ready for the cable guy to come.  He'll hook up a flatscreen tv on the file cabinet and then there will be news and PBS again after about four years or more..little by little it has all come together...the problem having been allowing my  young neighbor to move in there before I did...and then when I did, well..there were two housepayments to make and no renters in either space but me living in studio in the new one and going  home to cook for the foster son at the other one...what a rat race that was..

now I'm reading Phillip Roth...I tell ya that Portnoy's Complaint is a sheer ball of wax...couple with that I watched Showtime story The Affair and it ended abruptly with the teacher guy Solway going to the clink because he killed the man who got his funky daughter pregnant..really?   when he did he do that?  he's last seen sitting with the woman Alison he had the affair with and she's got a haircut and doesn't look like a fatlipped teenager anymore and then there's a knock on the door and off goes daddio to jail for murder...never saw it coming, about the worst portrayal of some kind of murder mystery I ever watched...the sex was raw, breathing exercises throughout...other than that, poorly developed character's like Alison's hubby, once seen on Dawson's Creek about 95 years ago...some guy who's like really brutal to Alison in t he beginning, looked like rape to me..but there it was..watched this crummy story for a couple nights while reading Portnoy's Complaint inbetween that's probably what did it, one was truly awful as the other, but now I'm on another Roth book and it's called Indignation, so far so good, a lot more character development and a lot less insufferable complaint about childhood...I hope Roth doesn't think he's the only one with parents who were overboard with the dire predictions and so on...my father once referred to my budding chest as the 'two growths on  my chest'..in front of my four little brothers aged 12 and younger, who immediately sniggered...and I'm still living down the humiliation from that experience...so Portnoy share the stage with the rest of us...I got my head shaved when I was 15 (about) because I didn't want to cut it, I wanted it to grow long...my mother had my dad drag me into the kitchen and they cut my hair while I sobbed on the kitchen floor...it's not brutality it's being a teenager...it's how it is and if you survive sometimes when you're an adult you think about walking off a tall bridge or just never getting out of bed again...something...but you don't...because today the sun shined here and that's never a good time to be melancholy...so I'm not melancholy but Roth's words don't hit home with me either because I as well made my parents proud getting good grades and so on...I did it for myself because I knew I had to achieve things, I had an agenda..I knew when I was a couple years older no one was going to tell me how to wear my hair and until then I best do what I could to stay under the parental radar...haircuts...exactly what do they mean??

let's ask Vidal Sassoon what he thinks: